The story of Lot comes from the book of Genesis, when he and his wife were commanded to leave the wicked city of Sodom and Gomorrah. As they left, perhaps as the city of their childhood was nearly out of view or maybe as they were just outside the city gates, Lot's wife turned to look back and became a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:26). Lot's wife "doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind" (Holland, 2010).
How many times in our lives do we have the opportunity to move forward, to start over, to repent or make changes, and when we are the cusp of that movement we turn, perhaps because of the comfort or ease of yesterday or possibly the fear of the unknown future, and linger in the past?
Even when that past is riddled with mistakes and misfortune, there seems to be a difficulty to let go, move on, and press forward. For me, it typifies a lack of hope, or more explicitly a lack of faith that God truly can guide my future and has something better waiting for me.
I can't count the number of times I have wished for a crystal ball, a way to foretell the future and thereby make the "correct" choice. Only God knows where I am headed, or where I have the potential to end up. By clinging to and dwelling on the past, I cloud my ability to find peace and joy in the potential of my future.
In Bonds that Make Us Free, Warner (2001) discusses a situation in which a friend has two potential positive choices to make, to stay with his current employment, where he had worked hard to create a positive team-oriented work environment, or to take a new job, where he had the potential for personal recognition. Warner's response to this gentleman was, “Whichever choice you make, a part of you is going to die. The only question is, Which part?” (p.56).
As I look at the options that sit in front of me, I feel somewhat paralyzed by fear to make a choice. This fear causes me to drag my feet, wait for the decision to be made for me, or wish for things to change so the choice won't have to be made. I know full well that whatever I choose, a part of me is going to die. While I have started to mourn that potential death, I haven't yet given myself over to embracing the birth of something new. To do so, I must replace my fear with hope; I must give my will over to the Lord and find faith to go forward.
For myself and for any of you who might feel the same way, I will leave you with the closing paragraphs of the article:
Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?
To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come” (Hebrews 9:11).
Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep. (Holland, 2010)
"Look Not Behind Thee"
5 comments:
I've often let my fears grow larger than my faith, especially when Maddie was taken away, and later through Jerry's health scares. Even when all is well, I still obsessively worry that everything might be gone in the blink of an eye. And so, each day I strive to turn my will and life over to Heavenly Father... praying for peace of heart, mind and spirit. I love you so much, and pray that whatever choices and changes come into your life, that you will be surrounded by hope, faith, and unconditional love.
I really appreciate your posts! I feel pretty blessed that you are talking and working this out through this blog...it's very beneficial for me and my own personal struggles as well and I absolutely love every post...I long for new ones! Your dear to me sister friend...xoxox luv luv
I think everyone, at some point in their life, is faced with an opportunity or event that challenges them to have faith and move forward. We should try to set our worries and doubts aside (easier said than done; but possible!) and trust in our own ability, and in the help of our loving Heavenly Father. He always knows what is best for us!
Even though looking forward with hope and faith is hard, I know you can do it!
Thanks for your posts! I know they help many!
Odd, that given my conservative personality, my career has definitely been one of constant change. I have the opposite problem discussed - worried that I may be missing out on some grand career opportunity if I stay in my current position or with my current company. My latest job change happened in early 2010. My wife and I prayed but didn't received a thumbs-up or thumbs-down on the choice - so I guess it didn't matter to my eternal salvation whether I stayed or went.
But in the rest of my life, I'm definitely a "stay where I am type of guy". In my married life we've only lived in two different places in 13.5 years.
I guess the key is to make your home or comfortable place the right place to be. In other words, do your best not to live in Soddom & Gomorrah then you won't have to leave what you love behind.
As Eckhart Tolle states..."What happens in the past doesn’t matter and we don’t know the future. The only thing that does matter is this very moment." Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to understand the people and events that formed your feelings and way of life and it doesn’t mean that you don’t need to worry about being late, paying the bills or saving for your retirement. Simply put, the point is that you need to live, enjoy, experience your life every moment and not let the events of the past influence your current attitude or behavior. Likewise you can’t be waiting for this or that to happen, because you don’t know what will happen. It’s a little more complex than this but that’s the facts. I'm with you girl and hope that in the near furture your life will be filled with hope, happiness, and love. You have been a very special part of my life and I love you. Keep smiling.
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